A few ways to keep your sanity, your friends and get what you want all at once!

Having your friends and family standing up with you is one of the best (and most stressful) part of your wedding day. Emotions are high and not just on the day of. Whether you are a bride, groom, groomsmen , bridesmaid, sister/brother in law or parent of the couple – everyone has a role to play and it’s best to know who can hack it before investing too much emotional energy.

I have planned quite a few weddings & events over the last decade and have some things go down amongst the best of friends. While what I have seen and heard would make this blog very entertaining, my most important job – is to keep my couples as stress free as possible and family/friend dynamics is usually the source of most wedding stress… that and budget. That’s a blog for a different day!

Over the last few years, I have noticed the wedding parties that have the most fun are the ones where everyone is excited and involved. Here are few ways to set you, your partner and your wedding parties up for nothing but pre-wedding bliss!

Figure out your list of demands

There is nothing more annoying than an “impromptu wedding event.” Especially if you are expecting your wedding party to front the bill. The best things you can do to avoid the dreaded “bride or groomzilla” label is list out your demands… like a ransom note.

List out the wedding events you know you are having and who you want/expect there. It doesn’t need to be formal or printed on pretty paper. A simple group text to your wedding party letting them know what events you plan to have leading up to your wedding, when they will be and if you expect them to organize anything specific.

Select your Wedding Party

Let the people you want in your wedding party or anyone who you’d like to have a role in your day ASAP. If you’re asking in a cute way, get it done and get it to them. The real gift is having your shit together, not the tumbler! Bonus points if you add an itinerary with dates to your ask!

This one is a two-parter. Once you have asked your people – give them a set amount of time to review your dates and list of demands and then ask for their decision. No hard feelings if they say no (maybe a little sadness) and keep it moving!

Who’s the “number one guy in the group?”

You don’t have to pick favorites but you definitely need to select 1-2 people to run any events you want to be surprised for. You may have a few besties or several different friends groups who don’t usually come together other than for your birthday – or several siblings and overbearing future sister in law – the list goes on. Whatever your story is – pick the people you know can get what you want done and will be listened to. Make it clear from the beginning and then step away.

Takeaways

1. Ask your wedding party as soon as you know who you want
2. Give them dates, list of expectations and a point of contact for any pre-wedding events you want to be surprised about
3. Be gracious. Everyone is going through something (yes, even during your wedding) and sometimes timing just doesn’t work. Don’t answer texts or emails when you’re frustrated and always ask yourself “do I want to be friends with this person after my wedding?” If your answer is yes, always lead with that.

There’s also always the newest trend… no wedding party at all!

XOXO
Lindsay